Wedding marathon begins

Today in Zhongshan is the big day of the wedding. It starts out with the groom giving respect to his uncles. He is dressed in white with a big red bow wrapped around him. This is his father’s sash (represents his father) and tucked into the back is what looks like a matching red napkin. Later there is a pink towel where the napkin was. The groom goes around to his uncles with his best man holding a tray in one hand and his cell phone in another to bow and received a red envelope. These uncles are the benefactors of the groom so he is showing them his respect and they are giving him some blessing money. The towels represent each uncle. Then, a bowl of tapioca or something is brought to each benefactor (and anyone who wants one after they get theirs).


The groom must also kowtow and bow to the altar where incense is lit before a porcelain Guan Yin. On the table are two roast pigs and special offerings: a bowl of fruit, red eggs (red=happiness, eggs=fertility), bai jiu (fortified rice alcohol), a bowl of rice, tang yuan, tea
…

Later, we go to a huge lunch at the restaurant where the wedding banquet will be held. The place is packed with diners- it is amazing that they will have it all ready to go for a big wedding party in just a few hours. We have about 6 tables of groom's people and family. We are fueling up for the big battle with the bridesmaids.

I am a bridesmaid too so when we arrive at the bride's house I run ahead to take up my station. Well, really I just go hang out with the bride for awhile. Downstairs the battle is raging between the bridesmaids and groomsmen. The bridesmaids will not give up the bride for less than 999 RMB. The groomsmen will not give more than 999 RMB. But so far they have only given about 400. I come out of the locked bedroom just as the groomsmen burst into the kitchen waving a few more paltry 10’s around. The bride's sister counts. NOT ENOUGH!


We are already about 2 hours behind schedule and it is hot and unairconditioned and we are all dressed up. The Groom tells me to tell the bride that enough is enough, we are late and it is really hot.
I knock on the door.
The girls inside won't listen to anyone but the bride's sister.
Guys and girls are shouting at each other and money is exchanging hands and some begging can be heard. The groom is made to sing a love song to woo the bride. Nothing will sway the defiant bridesmaids.
The groom has made it to the door by physically removing myself and the bride's sister-in-law. He tells her too that it is too hot and we gotta go (because we really are late).

The bride's sister comes to the door and lets the bride know that it is not enough. They have only given 560 RMB!! Cheapskates!
The groom's logic was only a ruse!
The bride doesnt come out.

More yelling and arguing. Finally, the groom is allowed inside the room, where he is to put on her shoes.
Uh-oh! One shoe is missing! The bridesmaids have hidden it!! I find it inside the duvet, so we have to go inside and look for it between the blanket and the duvet cover!


And the whole time, a group of 4 are sitting in the midst of the commotion calmly playing mah-jong!!


Once the groom has safely taken possession of his bride, the real ceremony begins. The bride and groom will serve tea to the bride's relatives, who will in turn give them blessings and some gold jewelry.
Everyone is crowded around and taking pictures and it is hot and crowded. But the four people involved, bride and groom on their knees on cushions before her parents, seated on chairs, seem unfazed. Each takes a sip of tea and the parents give the bride some gold bracelets and the groom a gold ring. By the time they have gone through all of the aunts and uncles, the bride is dripping in gaudy gold jewelry. It is a very nice ceremony.


Next it is on to the groom's family for the tea ceremony with his family. This is the guy with like 30 uncles so you know it will take a while!


The wedding banquet itself is a grand affair with 82 tables. That is 10 people per table, one lobster and one pig per table. That is an expensive wedding banquet!
We give a hong bao (red envelope with money) when we arrive, but here in Xiao Lan they have a custom that they give back 40% of the money you give.


The bride and groom walk down the aisle with sparkling fireworks going off. On the dias is a 9 layer cake. They cut it together and pour a huge bottle of champagne into stacked champagne glasses. The best man is the MC and he makes some funny comments and makes the bride and groom kiss for 17 seconds. They very craftily hold the bottle of champagne up so we can't see!

Then the groom's American father makes a speech.
Then we get to all eat!
The American family goes with the bride and groom to toast at the tables, but I sit tight. Otherwise I won't get anything to eat! After dinner there is a lot of time spent counting the money received and settling accounts with the restaurant.